Da Ugly Devil's Heaven

I got a forward email from my ex-boss where I used to do Medical Transcription job. This conversation has lots of humor and logic and everything in it. I am sure all of you guys will love this post. I did.



An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his class on the problem Science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God
didn't.
How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is
God good?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol,
science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat,
mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.

Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the
absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light,
flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have
nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness
isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker,
wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully
understood either one.

To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize
where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going
endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a
scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the
Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's
brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable,
demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.



DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?

This is a true story and the student was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the Ex-President of India

I was just cleaning my old books and stuffs, and I found one old magazine with some tongue twisters in it. I thought may be I would post it here so that all of the people could enjoy it but the question is can you handle it? So have fun pronouncing it. Lets see how good you can twist your tongue but be careful not to get your tongue twisted by your tongue twister.

Start…!

Peter bought a butter, the butter peter bough was bitter, so peter bought a better butter to make the bitter butter better.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickle peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Betty Botter had some butter but she said, “this butter’s bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it will make my batter bitter, but a bit of better butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So it was better Betty Botter bought a bit of better batter.

A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.

The sixth sick shield’s sixth sheep’s sick.

She sells seashells by the seashore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore. I’m sure she sells seashore shells.

Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea, “Lets us fly!” Said the fly, “Let us flee!” So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

A bitter biting bittern bit a better brother bittern, and the bitter better bittern bit the biter back. And the bitter bittern, bitten by the better bitten bittern, Said: “I’m a bitter biter bit, attack!”

Mr. See owned a saw and Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See’s saw before See sawed Soar’s seesaw, See’s saw would not have sawed Soar’s seesaw. So See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore just because See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw!

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck as much as he could and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Which witch wished which wicked wish?

Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed Shilly-shallied south. These sheep should sleepin a shack; sheep should sleep in a sack.

I hope you all enjoyed!!!